Last Sunday, my father called me to tell me he was at the emergency room. He‘s kinda like me, he always hurts somewhere, so if he went to the emergency room, he must have felt that something was more serious than usual. My concern grew, when doctors started to eliminate the minor illnesses. True to my paranoid nature, I searched the internet to find what matched the symptoms. A lot of things did, but also, possibly, cancer. I had to wait until the next day for doctors to do further testing, but that night, I went through all kinds of emotions.
My father, you see -and I ‘m not blinded by the ties of blood- is one of those people who make you believe in a better world, those that make you think (and believe) that humans are good, those willing to do anything to protect their own. I don’t know anyone more generous and loving than my dad. And that’s probably why I often feel disconnected with this world : because I grew up with this idea that people were kind, generous, hardworking … and I tried to adjust my behavior to his. He has the strength of a leader, and an indescribable little weakness when it comes to his children. So much love in his eyes. Thinking about his bright smile and happy memories of my childhood, prevented me from closing my eyes that night, too busy wondering what the world would become without him. In the morning, my eyes were yellow because of non-stop crying, and I pestered everyone to carry out more tests on him.
Thank goodness, he didn’t have anything serious and was able to return home. But this kind of event reminds us that it “can” happen. It doesn’t happen only to others. We have already lost people we loved, and it can still happen. I hope that my parents still have a long life ahead of them. But all this has inspired me to enjoy my time with them as much as possible, share more happy moments, even if they live far away. Trying to offer them things so that they enjoy their life, which so far has been mainly focused on working. And -perhaps selfishly- make them proud of me. Whatever the reason, I don’t quite know yet, what, or how. I just want to feel them by my side, in every sense of the word, and take care of them.